Super Dimensional Bros!
by ShadowHawkX3
Summary: Once upon a time, Mario and Luigi were living the quiet life...until Master Hand drops by and screws everything up for our heroes to be! Follow Mario, Luigi, and Dr. Mario as they go on an adventure that's not soon to be forgotten! :CHAPTER 3! FINALLY:
1. The Beginning

Hi! I'm ShadowHawkX3! This is my first (revised) story on and thus I'd like to start with a SSBM story! Hope you like it! (Full of random stuff)

Disclaimer: All things are respective of their owner's copyrights.

On a side note, whenever the text is like this: "Hey-a Luigi-a," Mario or Dr. Mario is talking. Dr. Mario sounds more carefree though. Whenever its like this: "YO, WASSUP, BRUTHAH?" Luigi is talking. Whenever it sounds like a geek, Master Hand is talking. I don't need to tell you what Crazy Hand sounds like. All other speech is normal.

* * *

The Beginning: Chapter 1 

At Mario's house, the brothers M are watching Die Hard for the 88th time.

" Man, this-a is boring…" Mario says.

"I wish something interesting would happen…" Luigi follows.

All of a sudden a freaking huge meteor comes crashing down, leveling the entire house.

"MAMA-MIA! (Followed by string of swearwords)" Mario says.

"Mario! WTF, bro? Don't cuss like dat, foo'!"

"Luigi, what's-a wrong with-a you? You're-a not a gangster!"

And now, the introduction of Master Hand! "Umm, hi. Sorry about that, I'm new to earth-people. I'm Master Hand! Good to see you! Got anything that needs fixing? Fear not! I'm quite handy!"

Luigi, who now hates bad jokes and comments, says, "Yo, glover! You ain't got no business here! And that joke is LAME, BRUTHAH!"

Mario, who doesn't know what the heck is going on, says, "Yeah-a, what-a he said. (Whatever he-a said.) Luigi, there is-a something-a wrong with you. And, uhhh…Master Hand-a? What are-a you doing-a here?"

"Uh-huh. I came here to tell you that…uh…"

"Spillit, foo'!"

"…That Bowser is being held captive by Peach, Dr. Mario is standing right next to you, Luigi has the soul of a gangster in him, Ganondorf is getting married to Zelda, Marth is gay chasing Roy, who isn't interested (How about that, huh?) and gravity will reverse itself at random times. One more thing: Mr. Game-and-Watch is taking over the world (Lots of 2-Dness!). Oh, and my brother Crazy Hand is missing. Just wanted to let you know."

"And all of-a this happened-a because?"

"I—uh, I don't…know. Dr. Mario, could you explain?"

Mario realizes that Dr. Mario is standing right next to him and almost shits himself. Why? Well, Mario and Dr. Mario are the same person. How often do you meet yourself?

"But…I….you…."

The Doc replies, "Well, yeah-a, its not like-a you'd expect-a anything different from-a Master Hand!"

"WHAT! MASTER HAND!"

LUIGI, CUTTING IN, "HELD CAPS TOO LONG, BUH THAT DON' MATTER! WHAT DA HELL DO YOU THINK YO' DOIN' MASTER B. HAND?"

"It's "Master Hand." No B. Uh, yeah! Um, I have no idea what I did, but I think the way to get rid of them is to, uh, um… (I HAVE NO IDEA.)"

"What-a?"

" Uh…AH LOOK JUST DEAL WITH IT OKAY? YOU MADE A NEW ENEMY MARIO AND LUIGI! And Dr. Mario as well, I guess."

Master Hand disappears, leaving Luigi in a bad mood.

"What da hell! Where'd da glove masta go?"

Another hand appears, but this time it seems a little more whacked.

The hand goes "LBPBLBBPPBLBHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAH!"

And the brothers M reply, "Wtf…?"

"Meet-a Crazy Hand-a!" says Dr. Mario.

Crazy Hand waves hi and all of a sudden a ton of Mr. Game-and-Watches come down from the sky. Luigi kicks the crap outta them in his gangsta style and all of a sudden Crazy hand blows up, but comes back.

"Yup-a! Crazy Hand did-a that! (The narrator is lazy!)"

Mario, still shocked at that fact Dr. Mario (who is Mario) is standing next to him, is a bit speechless. "What-a the hell is-a wrong with the world-a…"

"EVERYTHIN', FOO'! YOU DON'T KNOW THAT BY NOW, I KICK YO' ASS!"

"Luigi! Stop-a that! You aren't a-a gangsta-a!"

Dr. Mario, who is currently doing nothing, goes to sleep.

"Crazy Hand-a, you're-a Master Hand's brother-a?"

"LBPBLBBPPBLBHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAH!"

Mario is now totally whacked by everything that's happened in the short amount of time that passed. "Okay. We were watching Die Hard. Master Hand destroys our house. Master hand is our enemy. Dr. Mario (who is me) is standing next to me. Luigi became a gangster. Crazy Hand is stupid. The world is screwed and it doesn't care. Sounds like another adventure to me…(Notices a large portal in front of him.) Hey-a guys, I-a think we should-a go there, don't-a you think?

"I'm up wit that, foo'!" Luigi says.

"What he-a said. (Whatever he said.)" Doc says.

Do we need to know what Crazy Hand says?

End Chapter One!

What is going to happen now? What will they do? Will they rescue Bowser from the clutches of Peach? Will they stop Ganondorf from making the biggest mistake of his life? Will they bring Marth to his senses and talk him into not wearing his white suit? Find out next chapter!

* * *

(I apologize for the bad grammar and misspellings, but that's just how Gangster-Luigi talks.) 

Thanks to Gamer21 for a review on the older version and giving me a heads up on the deletion warning!


	2. Peach and Fido

Hoo boy, second chapter of SDB. Here goes…

* * *

Chapter 2: Peach and Fido 

As we last left them, our heroes were stepping inside a portal to nowhere. Imagine Mario, Dr. Mario, and gangster Luigi screaming, along with Crazy Hand laughing maniacally as the fall down a pit of nothingness. Go ahead. Imagine.

30 minutes pass…

By now, they realize they aren't going anywhere for a while.

Mario breaks the silence: "How-a long have-a we been falling?"

The doc replied, "About-a two hours."

"How-a did you know? You don't have a watch."

"Who-a cares? As long as I know!"

18 hours later…

Everyone is sleeping. Mario soon wakes up to hear Princess Peach's voice. He realizes that they have finally landed and are inside a jail cell. (?)

Mario goes "WTF?" Since when did Peach's castle become a prison?

Luigi wakes up. "What's goin' on, bro'?" Luigi then notices he's in prison. "YO WTF IS UP? LEMME OUTTA HERE! I AIN'T DOIN NO DRUGS!"

"You-a aren't?" Dr. Mario is finally awake. "Good. Drugs are-a bad."

"Duh!" Peach said. (Where'd she come from?) "You be quiet! Shut up or I'll give you to my little pet!"

"What-a pet?"

"I'll show you…oh Fido! Come here, Fido!"

As Mario watched, he felt the ground shake. Something was coming through the door…whatever it was, it was huge! It had big teeth, sharp claws, and horns! It breathed fire! It looked like a freaking turtle with spikes! It was…

"BOWSER?"

Insert awkward silence here.

Bowser looked rather silly. He had a party hat on, with a dog bone in his mouth and had a leash on him. He looked at Mario and said, "Umm, I'd rather not be here…"

Mario, Dr. Mario, and Luigi (Who knows where the heck Crazy Hand went) finally realized that it really was Bowser. They stared. And stared. And stared.

Yet another 18 hours later…

"Heh…heh…mmmmmHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Sh-shut up!" Bowser retorted.

Peach had a golf club in hand. "Fido! Kill them!"

"Uh…"

"What's wrong? You've always wanted to kill Mario!" Beat up, yes. But kill?

"Umm-a Peach? You-a seem a little-a bloodthirsty. Care for a megavitamin?"

Peach whacked Dr. Mario out cold with her golf club. Ouch. Mario then remembered what Master Hand said, "…Bowser is being held captive by Peach…" This seemed to be it.

All of a sudden, Crazy Hand crashed through the wall of the castle, (or prison) waved hi, and then another thousand Mr. Game-and-Watches came through the broken wall. They killed Peach and almost killed Doc. Bowser ate the Mr. Game-and-Watches. He had a stomachache. He threw up on Luigi. Luigi went to sleep. He woke up. He almost killed Bowser. Mario tried to stop Luigi. Mario almost killed Luigi. Doc wakes up. Doc eats mushroom. Doc almost STEPS ON everybody. You get the picture. Peach goes what the heck before she dies. 2-dimensionaled to death. Bad way to go.

After that, Mario says to Bowser,"You can-a take that-a stuff off now. Peach is-a dead! (And the narrator is lazy!)"

"Wtf, bro…you killed her!" Luigi says.

"I-a have a feeling that-a wasn't the real Peach…" Doc speculates.

"LBPBLBBPPBLBHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAH!" Crazy Hand says. (Yup, it's the same thing he said in chapter 1)

"Who's this guy?" asked Bowser. (The party hat didn't fit him at all. He was glad to get rid of it, since the Brothers M kept laughing at him.)

"This is-a Crazy Hand! NO, DON'T-A WAVE HI, PLEASE!"

"LBPBLBBPPBLBHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAH!"

Bowser, refraining from shaking hands with Crazy Hand, turns to everyone else. "So what the heck is going on? Why are you here, Mario?"

(Insert lengthy time-wasting explanation)

"I see…so you want me to go along, huh?"

"Yup-a!" answered Doc.

"Since when are you da boss?" Luigi asked, rather angrily. "I thought I WAS THE MAN! YOU SUCK, DOC!"

"Whatever. Look-a Bowser, you've helped us-a more than-a once! Remember Super Mario RPG? Oh, and Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga? Come-a on!"

"FINE! I'll go with your—"

"COOL! Da koopa's in da house!"

"—posse. Uh-whatever…"

Mario is now satisfied with the way things are turning out. But somehow, he feels as though they were missing something…

All of a sudden, the entire castle seemed to turn upside down. Thankfully, the ceiling was there to stop everybody from falling into the sky. They were worried though, when Bowser came crashing down… Mario remembered another thing Master Hand had said, "…gravity will reverse itself at random times." The world really was screwed.

Bowser noticed a big portal in the center of what used to be the ceiling. "Guys? Isn't that where you came from?"

"Yeah-a! Come on, lets-a go!"

Doc and Luigi entered the portal. Mario said to Bowser, "You coming, Fido?"

Bowser slowly turned to look at Mario. Oh, you could tell he was gonna get him back for that…

End Chapter Two!

Our heroes have completed the first task in their journey! With Bowser in their "posse", things ought to be a little easier! NOT! Find out what happens in Chapter Three!


	3. Insert some insane wacko here

Chapter 3!

Dag, its been so long since an update...

...I feel insane all of a sudden.  
Disclaimer: All things are respective of their owners.

* * *

Chapter 3: Insert some insane wacko here 

Recap: Mario and Luigi make Master Hand their enemy. Luigi goes gangsta. Crazy Hand joins them. Dr. Mario joins them. Everybody shits themselves. They go to mushroom kingdom.

When we last left our heroes, they had just rescued Bowser from Peach! Now they are zipping through a time portal to…wherever they're going. Don't ask me, how should I know?

"And the next thing you know, we landed in Alberquerque!"  
Bowser was currently trying to entertain the Mario Bros., which he was failing miserably at. He pporbabaly didn't even spell that word right. I didn't even speel porbalby right. Can't spell anything, can I?

"WHAT THE (bleep) WAS THAT?" Luigi said. "Ya better shut ya mouth before I jump you, foo'!

Mario fell asleep. He dreamed that he was somewhere else killing giant evil yoshis with a Bowser robot. Dr. Mario fell asleep and dreamed that he was killing giant evil pills with a Virus robot. Both watched in horror as they killed stuff that was once their friends. But that's not my problem! They were the ones who fell asleep in the first place!

Bowser saw that they were getting nowhere fast. So he did a Bowser Bomb sideways. Yes it is possible for him to do such a thing, but not in the game. His weight carried him through the nothingness that they were trapped in.

Suddenly he hit something. He tore a hole in the air and everything was sucked into it. While Mario and Doc were asleep already, Bowser and Luigi were not. They were knocked out immediately.

24 hours pass by…

Mario woke up. Mario fell asleep.

Another 24 hours later…

Luigi woke up, went "Wtf?" and got drunk off beer he had in his jacket (he has a jacket?) and fell asleep.

Yet ANOTHER 24 hours pass…

Bowser awoke with a start. The first thing he saw was an upside down castle. He growled, "Musta been that bad can of tuna I had…" then fell asleep again.

Must I say what happens?

Doc woke up. He found that he was suffering from hydrogenesisectoplasmicdeprivationobia, and took fifty of his megavitamins. He got hooked and started hitting anybody who was asleep with a piñata bat. This woke them up for good.

Mario groggily looked around. "Where-a are we?" He spotted the upside-down castle that Bowser had seen earlier. "I must-a be drunk!" But now Mario was afraid to fall asleep again, what with Dr. Mario whacking anybody within range. Suddenly, Master Hand appeared!

(Insert Chrono Trigger music here!)

"MASTER HAND! WTF YOU DOIN' HERE!" Luigi went on a rampage.

Luigi took a gatling gun and fired fireballs while Mario took the pinata bat and started whacking Master Hand. (Mario ain't good for nothing except being the main character!) Bowser didn't know what the heck was going on, but he flamed Master Hand anyway. Doc gave Bowser an overdose of his super vitamins and Bowser became GIGA BOWSER and did a GIGA BOWSER BOMB on Master Hand.

Master Hand exploded and said "I'M FAKE!" before disappearing.

Mario Leveled Up! LVL 2!

"Hey wait a second, this isn't an RPG!" Bowser yelled. He's back to normal.

"Does it-a matter?" Doc said.

"He didn't even do anything except take a stick and whack!" Bowser retorted.

Doc replied "Well it-a doesn't help that-a you're already level 3019421840913274176. Man, you-a have a ton of hours to kill and-a no social life."

"Whatever..." Bowser looked at the castle, which was now right side up. "Where the heck are we?" He looked at the castle a little more closely and saw the triforce symbol. "Eh? What's that?"

"What's-a what?" Mario looked at the castle too and saw the triforce symbol as well.

Suddenly they both realized where they were, for years of playing video-games had suddenly meant a lot more to them now than before; they were in HYRULE!  
As if you didn't know.

Bowser suddenly became smart for second and said "In order to get inside the castle, we need a key. The key is located at the end of the world. In order to get to the end of the world, we need the stargate (SG-1!). In order to get the stargate, we need to go back in time. In order to go blahblahblah..."He went on until finally: "...we need a mushroom."

By now everyone just wants to go home. Bowser says "In order to go home..."

"Shut yo mouth, spike-butt!" Luigi shouted.

Mario suddenly shouts, "I-A HAVE THE HYRULE-A KEY!" (Doesn't do a damn thing...)

"Really?"

"Well-a, no, but-a I have a lockpick!" (Not a damn thing...)

Everyone groaned. So Mario picked the door lock and they got inside the castle. A wedding was taking place.

"Well, this is one way to spend an afternoon." Bowser mumbled. Which he then accidentally breathed fire on Dr. Mario.

Doc, still hooked on his pills, said "Hey, I was-a gonna get a hair-hic-cut!"

"HEY, WHO ARE YOU?" It was Ganondorf. "I'M GETTING MARRIED HERE, GO AWAY!"

"Well-a that's a bit stupid." Doc was looking at the towering mass of muscle that was Ganondorf and offered him a megavitamin.  
Rejected. In the face.

While Doc kept Ganon busy ("OOF"), Bowser, meanwhile, stole the organ. ("Well, it's worth money...right?") Mario stole the ring ("It's-a shiny!") and Luigi gave away the bride ("I now pronounce you KittyDog, you may hijack her car")

And all the while the bride (who, miraculously, no one seems to notice) runs away.

Ganondorf is now pissed and starts fistcuffing Bowser, who gets annoyed and breathes fire all over the place.Ganondorf chases them out of the castle, out of Hyrule and across several continents.

When they were finally out of breath (about 2 seconds later, in other words), they only then realized that they weren't in Hyrule anymore.

Mario looked around."Where-a are we?" His question was answered the moment the words left his lips: they all got run over by fifty or so F-Zero machines. Except for Bowser, who bodyslammed anyone who ran into him.Yup, they were in MUTE CITY!

Their spinal cords free from the rushing cars (machines?), Mario was the first to unflatten himself. "Er...let's-a get out of-a here..."

Luigi was next to recover. He all of a sudden started rappin' about gangstas and thugs and Detroit City and everywhere he goes and some guy named Tricky.

Doc couldn't unflatten. His pills were strewn about the track. The machines came rushing around the corner again and they ran over the pills. Half of the machines got bigger (Capt. Falcon: "OMGINEEDTHATWHERE") and Bowser tore a hole in the track and everybody else died!

Mario got impaled on the front of an F-Zero machine (he's still alive, sadly) and Luigi hitched a ride on one nearby, which fell into the hole Bowser made and they all went "AAAAaaaaaa...!"

They fell and hit some skyscrapers, some ducks, a jumbo jet, eachother, and finally landed on an omnibus. Then the omnibus exploded from excessive weight due to the overmassive Bowser and they flew into the sky, hitting some electrical wires, a telephone pole, an airship, an airplane, an airplane engine, some more ducks, a rain cloud, a satellite, and finally hit the bottom of the track. Then they fell again.

Repeat, stir, and mix for forty minutes, then simmer.

And Doc is still flat.

Ganondorf, meanwhile, has actually eaten one of Doc's megavitamins and suddenly goes Mach 17, doing eight laps around the track before he, too, falls into the hole Bowser made.

Ganon hits the guys.

Repeat step five, pour into blender and liquefy.

And now that Doc has finally pulled himself free, he sits on the edge of the track, rather wondering why the author has suddenly gone insane.

Personally, I think I went insane over Spring Break.  
But I could be wrong. I mean, I did paint the house in like A DAY so that must've...  
Or maybe I'm just cocky.

Now Doc has fallen over and has hit the guys.

Repeat steps five and six, with more vigor this time.

After about two hours of brutally injuring themselves, they find themselves inside some sort of hospital. Everyone had bandages on where they were bleeding and such.  
"WHAT'S GOING ON--!" Ganondorf was certainly annoyed.  
"OW, MY SHOE--" Bowser seemed pissed off as well.  
"YOU'RE NOT WEARIN' ANY SHOES, A--" Luigi is pissed at stupidity.  
"WHERE IS-A MY LOCKPICK--" Mario...not a damn thing...  
"What a nice-a three-headed dog." Doc, however, had no bandages on him and was currently observing a Cerberus being killed by a red-haired swordsman.

"You guys alright? I had to drag you all for an hour, that turtle isn't exactly easy to carry..."

"I'M NOT A TURTLE--" Bowser was saved from hurling more insult when some green, leafy plants were shoved into his mouth.

"They're herbs, they'll clear your head up!" said the nurse.

"MFBFMFFLE!"  
"STFU!" Of course Luigi said this, who else would?

"Perhaps one day, I can understand WHY MY MARRIAGE WAS DESTROYED!"

"Your-a wedding was-a destroyed, you weren't officially-a married. Here..." And Doc started to explain...

* * *

"Uh...anyone up for Spades?"  
"Sure..."

* * *

"I didn't cheat, I swear!"

* * *

"AAAH MY BEAUTIFUL RED HAIR! NOOO!"  
"Be quiet, I wanna hear how you guys beat Master Hand..."

* * *

"Bowser...just because you lost a game of Spades doesn't mean you can flame them..."  
"BUT HE CHEATED!"

* * *

Now everyone is up to speed. Ganon has set aside his grudge about the wedding (excuse me, I mean MARRIAGE) and the red-haired swordsman has introduced himself as Roy, soon after getting himself flamed.

So...although they don't know it...they are in...FIRE EMBLEM!

Whee!

End Chapter 3!


End file.
